Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize