It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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