I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
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No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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