from now on my penis is your penis
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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