oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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