He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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