I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize