You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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