i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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