those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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