she looked like the before picture.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize