wakey wakey hands off snakey
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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