She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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