....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
the raccoons are back...
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