I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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