Don't make out with my wife yet
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize