I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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