There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
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I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
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Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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