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people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
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