There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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