Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
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i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
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I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize