The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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