So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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