Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize