i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize