she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
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the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
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he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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