I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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