coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize