I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
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no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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