I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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