i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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