I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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