It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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