Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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