just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize