Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize