eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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