small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
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I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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