his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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