hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
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One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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