I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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