It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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