i think my tv is drunk
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize