I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
barbara walters just said penis...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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