I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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