After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
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She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
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What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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