They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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