Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize