get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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