dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize